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The Space Between The Stars

by Babyalligator

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1.
You said you were the sun and I was the moon You gave me light but burned right through me As I got closer and closer to you Then you went away and I fell behind First you took my life and then left me to die You can't get away this time Without choosing sides And I can't swallow any more of my own lies You took every place left for me to hide You painted me in colours that I never was And I let you step over everything that I had lost And you pushed me into shadows that I never knew Once I was blind, but now I can see right through All your games and masquerades The cards of guilt that you loved to play Sacrifices I made cause I wanted to you stay You knew that I was easy prey And I remember being by your side But slowly, I'm untying ropes that bind You painted me in colours that I never was But you will see, that cruelty comes at a high cost And you will pay.
2.
Don't Ask 04:13
Don't ask about my future I have nothing new to say I'm starving for some honesty But a blind dog can't be taught to see I'm running and running and running And running out of breath Yet I can never keep up I'm running and running and running And running away I'm trying not to look back I'm a collection of wasted potentials A museum of things that no one sees I'm bitter, my sweetness is just artificial I'm fooling the innocent tongues with ease Don't ask about my future I don't know what you want to hear I never planned to be this old Once spoken, words can't be untold. I'm falling and falling and falling And falling behind Questioning my luck I'm falling and falling and falling And falling apart I'm trying not to give up A collection of empty spaces and garbage Existent achievements that no one validates I'm watching the ashes fall from the glimmering red That death so impatiently awaits Don't ask about my future There is nothing there to see Don't ask about my future I don't know where I will be.
3.
Don't say anything I know you know anyways You don't have to say anything I know, you know Just let me lose hope for a while I'm so tired of wearing this godawful smile No tears, my eyes stay dry I write to keep the right to stay alive You papermade prophecies In my dry-skinned hands Waiting for things to fall into place Without a need to understand Mechanical, worn-out and thin I'm no stranger to things that live under this skin And consequences of where I have been Stay within, within It's the knot where all threads meet It's the wound that refuses to stop to bleed It's the sickness corrupting my head Doubts eating their way through my stomach like rust instead I'm sorry to disappoint And I'm so sorry for letting you down And I'm sorry for hiding inside With those words I can't seem to spit out Until I find a way I will have to carry them around.
4.
A seed fell down in my chest A while ago - you made it grow. A shadow weaving through the stories I tell Sharing some comfort when I am not well Casting his light into the darkness where I dwell. Gleaming in through my window Softly awakening me From drowsy spells spread on my pillow Eyes open, with no one to see A self-fulfilling reverie Mending the urge to open my skin Lending some strength to my tired bones Chasing through my veins, making my head spin Like smoke in my lungs when I'm on my own I long for you like I ache for a home And now the cranes are flying south To hide out from the winters cold And soon you'll be here, with futures to unfold And soon you'll be here, with futures to unfold.
5.
Jonathan 04:31
The wind spreads over water And swirls the mirrored surface, Turns it blind No more hands No more eyes The prophecy came true And threads are spinning Secretly across the world Our chains are loose Old ties are thinning And we'll cover distance, wings unfurled A safety net is what we all require But mediocrity is not what I aspire To be and to create To leave behind for strangers to relate To feel and to translate I take what I've been given and try to turn it into something great I turn my wrists My arms stretched out Awaiting of the coming storm White ashes blowing from my mouth And if we die this instant, we'll be reborn We always imitate what we admire I always try to be who I desire
6.
Like Sand 04:56
I lost my sense of time and space, I don't know where I belong Please don't ask me what year it is Cause I will probably get it wrong Everything I do is a selfportrait And it's all in and out of my hands While I'm still a child in many ways Life's pouring through my fingers like sand But I'm not as aimless as I seem I'm just in temporary torment My memory keeps playing tricks on me Days are gone, and I don't know where they went I can't recall how they were spent All I'm left with is my honesty And even that abandons me at times When it's almost too painful just to be It's often easier to lie But I'm not as helpless as I feel And I will regain control I know the odds are against me But I'm determined to reach my goal I will not break, I will stay whole I will not break, I will stay whole I will not break, I will stay whole.
7.
Ghosts 03:40
From secret lungs a binding spell Was cast and kept around A tired day with tired eyes Spat out from the underground And you walk through their lives like a ghost In an old, faded polaroid Alone, alive, unknown We live, we die, on our own We paint our idols under our skin And carry their words in our souls We drink and wait for the world to set to spin And disappear as a whole For a while In control And I walk past their lives like a ghost In an old, faded photograph In love, alive, unknown We live, we die, but not alone Your laughter spreads relieving wings And lifts the heavy choice With burning tongues and blinding words We step back from the void.
8.
Figures creeping on the ceiling Numbers changing time away Blue wings and coloured photographs They're replacable, no reason to stay The tides on the shores pulse and sway I flare up and burn bright in the pitch black sky I am colours and I am sound I'm a long forgotten northern light I am not lost, but I will be found, I will be found. Awake by the river, watch the day grow pale Wait for the city to come to life A long way from home, even further in my mind Over the water, a flock of birds takes to flight Swinging themselves into inconceivable heights I flare up and burn bright in the pitch black sky On emptiness and nicotine I'm a long lost child of uncommon sights Invisible now, but I will be seen, I will be seen Don't let me fade again into the shadows Don't let me slip into the dark Hold my hand through my nightly terrors And calm the storm in my heart Illuminate the space between the stars Between the stars
9.
Morpheus 05:28
The night holds me With lying arms „I'll keep you safe You'll be done no harm“ As steady as the tides There's no way out I don't want to see you die again It's true, I have no doubt It's too much, too far, Too powerful A gentle touch, too dark To see you pull me back Pull me back The light reveals There's no one around Nothing real to fear Nothing to be found Breathe, open your eyes Drown the happiness you feel I can't bear to see you come back again When I know it can't be true Into subconscious streams All seconds of years will flow Into the empire of dreams All our troubles will go
10.
The Constant 07:22
In 1992 you were a familiar witness to my birth You held my heart from the second I appeared on this earth In your concrete hands that people paint as canine claws Soon I had to leave but never stopped aching from afar For all your dirt and grey and heat and cold All your unraveling secrets and stories waiting to be told All your great names and all your great faces Are not what's calling me Invisible, nameless and faceless When I want to, is what I want to be You do not try to make amends You do not try to shape me and change me Like a wide-eyed wondering child I'm soaking up the burning neon lights In the darkness and internal stillness of a winter night Spent on my own but with you by my side Spent on my own but with you by my side.
11.
i have found what you are like the rain, (Who feathers frightened fields with the superior dust-of-sleep. wields easily the pale club of the wind and swirled justly souls of flower strike the air in utterable coolness deeds of green thrilling light with thinned newfragile yellows lurch and.press —in the woods which stutter and sing And the coolness of your smile is stirringofbirds between my arms;but i should rather than anything have(almost when hugeness will shut quietly)almost, your kiss

about

This is my second album, recorded in my various bedrooms in various cities (I moved a lot lately). I hope you enjoy these songs and take them as sort of windows into different times and aspects of my life, not all of this is here and now.

credits

released January 25, 2016

All songs were written (unless stated otherwise), performed and recorded by Hannah Reinhardt aka Babyalligator. Same goes for the cover artwork.
Words to 'i have found what you are like' by e. e. cummings.

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Babyalligator Berlin, Germany

Singer-songwriter, Berlin

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